


The Plague

by starkforpresident



Category: Captain America (2011), Incredible Hulk (2008), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (2012)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-24
Updated: 2012-08-24
Packaged: 2017-11-12 19:26:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/494812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starkforpresident/pseuds/starkforpresident
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony is sick and although he's being a baby about it, Bruce and Steve do their best to take care of him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Plague

Tony groans and heaves the rest of whatever is in his stomach into the toilet. “I’m dying.” He gasps. “I am seriously dying.”

Steve just stands in the doorway, pinning him with an accusing stare. “You were drinking again, weren’t you.” It’s not even a question. It’s a statement, like a fact, and Tony wants to punch him.

“No. No! I’m just- Ooh.” He slumps back against the wall and holds his stomach. “You don’t understand. I am legitimately dying. This is the worst. Alcohol can’t even do this to you. This is not a damn hangover.”

Honestly, Cap has never seen Tony hung over so he doesn’t know if that’s true and he’s skeptical. “…Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure.” Tony practically hisses. That’s when Bruce decides to pop in, standing on his tip toes to peek over Cap’s shoulder.

“What’s going on?” he asks, then sees Tony. He frowns. “Tony? Are you alright?”

Steve sighs, politely taking a step into the bathroom so that Bruce can move inside, as well. “I think he’s been drinking again.” Bruce looks horrified and now Tony wants to punch both of them.

“I have not-“ Oh, there he goes again. Afterwards, he fumbles for the washcloth he managed to snatch and rubs it across his mouth. When he glances up, both men look utterly disgusted. “What?! I didn’t invite an audience to witness my death.”

“Tony.” Bruce lowers his voice to a stern, level tone. “Have you been drinking?”

“Oh my god. What’re you, my mother? Stop talking like that.” 

“You’re not answering the question.” Steve says pointedly.

Bruce frowns. “He’s right.”

Tony seethes, writhing a bit on the floor in his pain. “No. I have not been drinking, but I think it’s cute how you two want to talk about this while I am quite literally dying. You two are gonna feel like total shit when I-“ he stops to whine, holding his side. Bruce and Steve look at one another, and Bruce, being the doctor, steps forward to kneel beside of his friend. He touches Tony’s forehead and ignores when the billionaire glares at him.

“You have a little bit of a fever.”

“I fucking told you. It’s the plague.”

“You do not have the plague.”

“How do you know?!” Tony exclaims, shooting Steve a dirty look. “You’ve never had the plague. “

Steve rolls his eyes. “Neither have you.”

“Yeah, ha-ha. Well, I bet it feels like this, because I’ve never felt this bad. Ever. And I’ve gone through some pretty terrible stuff. It has to be the plague.”

“You do not have the plague.” Steve insists again, and Tony throws his washcloth at him. The soldier reels in disgust and Tony cackles, only to stop and groan when another wave of nausea comes. Bruce frowns, moving his hand back under Tony’s hair to lay his palm flat on his forehead.

“What’s the last thing you ate?” the doctor asked.

“Uh…Calamari.”

Steve raised his eyebrow. “Calamari?”

“Squid.” Tony says, and starts to laugh again at Steve’s expression.

“You ate squid?” 

“Yeah, I ate squid. It was-“

“You might have food poisoning.” Bruce said, lowering his hand.

“-fantastic, too, so how do I have food poisoning? Does it feel like the plague? Maybe you should check and make sure I didn’t get bitten by anything. I wasn’t kidding about the feeling like I’m dying thing. Oh my god.” Tony grasps Bruce’s arm and looks at him seriously. “…Do you think I’m going to turn into a zombie?”

At that, Steve shakes his head and starts to walk out. Bruce manages a smile. “Yes. You’re going to turn into a zombie, Tony.” Then he stands. 

“Fuck my life. I would be the first zombie. Damnit.”

“Steve? Can you give me a hand here? He should probably get some rest.” Bruce asks, looking up at the blond. Steve seems reluctant to return, eyeing Tony sharply, but he walks over. 

To be fair, Tony warns him. “Watch out, Cap. I might bite you and turn you next.” Steve gives him an incredulous look before leaning down and slipping Tony’s arm over his shoulder. He helps him stand up and woah, did Tony’s legs always feel like jello? Tony takes advantage of the situation and leans his full weight on Steve, playfully baring his teeth at him.

“If you bite me, I’ll drop you right back to the floor.” He wrinkles his nose. “And your breath smells horrible.” 

Tony considers blowing a stream of air at him, but the floor was not very comfortable, and frankly, Steve is. Bruce has already disappeared to surely find Tony something to soothe the pain, and Tony is a-ok with that. He lets Steve lead him back out to his bed and Tony squirms away to crawl up on it and under the covers. 

“Gonna tuck me in?” Tony asks, wincing from a sudden pain.

Steve frowns at the other man’s expression. “You might bite me.” That gets Tony to laugh and Steve smiles. Bruce returns with a small trashcan, a thermometer, a bottle of water. He doesn’t bother with trying to get Tony to take some medicine, knowing how that would turn out. 

Tony eyes the trashcan. “That doesn’t bode well.”

“Just in case.” Bruce says sheepishly, patting Tony’s leg reassuringly. There’s a moment of quiet as Bruce takes his temperature, and then Bruce slips away from the side of the bed. “Do you want us to stay here until you fall asleep?” Bruce asks, while Steve has already pulled up a chair. Tony glances from one to the other, and even though he really wants to make a snarky remark about how he’s not a five year old and can take care of himself, all he manages is:

“Yeah.”


End file.
